friday, april 19
well here marks it. today's the one year of anniversary of that fateful day. the day i betrayed z.
it doesn't feel like a year ago, it feels like twenty years ago. the fact that i would ever do such a thing blows my mind but what can i say? in reality, i haven't changed much. i'm a liar who never stops lying.
i don't think he thinks about it anymore. he used to be hung up on it and i wished desperately that the phase would end... that he would stop being passive about it, that he would stop bringing it up every five minutes, that he would stop getting angry for that same reason but now, he's more focused on other things... on his future, his goals, his company. it feels like any day now, i'll get left in the dust but i guess that's what i deserve, isn't it?
i suppose i am attention seeking. i'd rather someone think of me negatively that not think of me at all.